Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I'm not a very emotional person anymore. Except I laugh too much and I get tense (potentially explode) around my dad. He's gone uber religious and added to my doubts about whether my stand not to have a stand on religion is worth relooking, his presence has a very bad effect on my serenity.
I'm much better at letting things go (in a certain sense). I'll always want answers - I think thats the only thing that's going to redeem me in this degree. My laziness and shyness make me a very quiet student in class - don't feel like I have allies, you see. Don't find discussions so fun when they are not light hearted.
But I can't be bothered to join all the law soc events even though that would make me closer to my classmates so I'm just working on a thicker skin. Skipped meditation too many times.
Truth is I don't even have a group for two of my classes. I did have a group for each, but the groupmates were too few for the min. requirement so we had to split up. Hoping to clear that up this week.
And I'm behind on study groups too - because my group hasn't prepped and doesnt wanna meet. Sigh. I'm just going to prep myself and muddle through.
I'm being selfish this sem. I'm going to be a person I'm proud of. Right now I'm focusing too much on the little things like the amount of tea and sweets I take in. My character, my interests, my dedication to what I do is the point. Not how plump and pimply and frizzy I am. The running is to discipline myself, the war on sugar is to control my emotions and the meditation is to strengthen my stiff upper lip LOL.
But I'm working on my tastes - I love the clean tastes of fruit and veg these days more than chocolate. Woohoo!
Now to overcome kaya toast.
eve.
Labels: random stuff