Sunday, March 16, 2008
I'm having goal overload.
I'm supposed to do adequately well in law school(approx 60 hours a week), become a better capoeirista (min 2 training sessions, and practice my berimbau twice a week outside class - approx 8 hours a week) and become more active socially(attended a couple of talks, a couple of seminars, helping to organise Pangea Day, and i'm still looking for the info for my teacher training program :( approx 6 hours a week).
I'm supposed to run every other day (progressively increasing distance, and decreasing time), sleep 8.5 hours each night, and write about one interesting thing I learn each week. I'm supposed to also pamper myself with a facial twice a week so I feel girly and worth loving. LOL. I'm supposed to minimise the sweeties and coffee, and maximise the liquid intake (which is working since I got a huge water bottle - I drink it so I don't have to carry it around :P) Supposed to get 6 - 10 servings of veg/fruit a day.
Very few of these things are getting done.
I'm going to class, but I'm always rushing an assignment. I haven't started revision for anything.
I attend my capoeira classes, but I don't run, and I don't get the requisite sleep more than twice a week.
And all this is because I don't know how to manage my teams.
I'm realising this because I rebelled this week. I got 4 full nights of sleep. And my emotions are calm and my work - quality wise - has been MUCH better.
My goals were all made for good reasons and are doable -IF groupwork sticks to its allotted slot. Unfortunately my groups grow into monsters that meet and meet and meet and I can't do anything to convince them to just be effective and stick to one meeting.
Goal for week 11:
I'm going to sleep 8.5 hours per night, drink 2l pure water, have 6 servings of green stuff.
I'm going to complete my BGS report compilation 1 by 2.30pm monday.
I'm going to have a skeletal for my app brief by monday night, and summaries of the cases and a fact sitch by tuesday night. On wednesday, I'll cobble together something reasonable to show prof mohan on thurs.
I'll spend two hours with my contract group on tues after class. We'll hammer out our outline. And I'll complete my section for it by tuesday 10pm.
I'll spend only two very productive hours on LTB on thursday (because of my consult with prof mohan at 2pm, and class after...) By 7pm on thursday I will have completed a printed pretty picture letter for all three of my boys.
My tort report draft will be out tonight, 10.30pm. I'll spend only two more hours on my section, and I'll make it damn good (since I've done the reading and the movie watching).
And that should be all I've got due before friday.
On fri: excursion for darul ihsan. Meeting with LTB group including rehearsal will not exceed 3 hours. Ctt meeting will be efficient (so I have to be damn prepared).
I often think I should really just die. I am a waste of space. I don't want anything and I don't mean anything. Should save the earth's resources just a bit and die.
As Silvano said, though, make my decision and stick to it. I may not be good enough now, but that just means I have to work harder. And if I sleep more, I will get the will to work harder. Strangely.
I can't die, so I have to live, and so I'd better live well. I am as good as anyone else, even her.
I can do this.
Eve.
PS. The list up there was so I don't forget what I'm supposed to do when I'm supposed to do it, just because I lost my to do list.
Labels: life, love, plan