Friday, October 19, 2007
I'm procrastinating again.
I was blog surfing - I'm resting my mind so I can come up with better answers later! :p in 15 min. ok.
AND I saw that more than a few ppl have recently posted on the problem with love today.
True love is supposed to be forever. It is supposed to be unconditional and full. But to make it work, to make two different people meld into a unit for certain purposes (no dirty meaning. Really.) you need compromise. My darling and I are different. Very very different. He is hard and cold unless I warm him. :p or the sun does. Anyway the thing is, to make his song beautiful and strong, I must listen to him, adjust the tautness, the strength, my timing. This I must do before I can even sing - he is necessary to my song.
So for my guy (this is dependent on personality type, I believe), I would need to help and support himto fulfill my other, personal goals too. I've kind of noticed that.
But today, people don't really mean they love when they say it. When do most people say they love the other? When the other says it first, when they think they're supposed? When it sounds perfect?
It's a problem of context. We've gotten used to getting things fast. To going for the gold. If you have the luxury of time, then you can let whatever you feel develop, you don't fall into the trap of thinking you feel sth you don't. How can you know if you truly love somebody? If it lasts for years, right? I believe that's what distinguishes it from infatuation.
I don't know, I really do believe in it. But another problem has been brought to my attention - by virtue of still loving you are actually imposing in some way on the one who is loved. There is this hope, this expectation - and today also, nobody wants to be bound by their word of honour (:p x ref the time when they dueled to the death for honour...we're so... boring and cautious. :p) The context is different, they don't want to be bound, their feelings changed, they changed, they hate that you are so behind the times....
Haha I'm not saying it's wrong or anything. Those are pretty valid points of view.
But I think I reserve the right to think for myself. I'm not 100% sure I believe true love is possible today, but I believe in the concept.
And how it works is you let it be. If it's fated, it is. You put in your fair share - you can't be a bitch and expect a prince to bow down, obviously. But in the end, there are 6 billion people. No point killing yourself over it.
I've got a friend, who I hope will end up happy. I'm only saying this because seeing his experience has been invaluable to me. There were many different factors but essentially I'm hoping that I learnt to implement my words properly. I realised the problem with needing to help and letting go is you can't really let go if you need to help that person. Let go first and if your help is needed, it will be "sought".
Haha I've become very fatalistic lately but...exam period. usual. :)
Eve.
Labels: deep thinking imho