1. Pretty even though I'm a bit homely, as opposed to gorgeous or sophisticated. Some people, I've noticed, gain this because of their smiles. No one who smiles can be less than sweet. So in this respect, I shall smile more (and invest in more whitening products / drink less coffeeeeee). More would be...difficult without major lifestyle changes and plastic surgery. Also, I'm sticking with the pretty like a flower theory I came up with ages ago...I'll wear more colours, and I'll keep up with the nice smells. Though I may want to change the scent. I don't seem to be attracting the kind of guy who interests me. So far they've been nice but...I get actually bored and I start checking my watch. Not a good sign.

2. Reaffirm my beliefs. I don't believe in a God so much as a higher power, and I believe I cannot live a lie and call myself a real human. We're different from the animals because we have freedom of choice. But since I also believe in a fate...Haha I need to think some more. I definitely have decided I do not have to have a kid anymore. I can be loved (this is wonderful knowledge!) and being positive, I'll say I will be again. :) *happy dance* But I'll let him find me. That way I won't have accusations that this all happened because I asked him if he liked me. :s

3. More rational, as opposed to being overly passionate. Not that I'm discounting my passion - it's a great thing and can motivate wonderfully. But I spent too much time feeling over that last few months, instead of thinking. I do have reasons to support my convictions, my passions. But I don't want them to pop up in the heat of the moment. I want them to have been thought through completely, and checked on regularly. Like my banana bread. Just a sec.

4. More optimistic, less serious. Life's a game, no? And as a budding capoeirista, I should jogar my way through it. My losses won't mean less, but there's always sth funny that can be said. I wanna be more creative? I'll stop the weepy episodes, preempt them with a joke.

5. I spend way too much time second-guessing myself. As I have been told. I do the lawyerly thing of giving them all the options with little advice. Which makes for a bad lawyer! I'll stop. My judgment only affects me. And I trust myself enough to take it. So.

6. Pamper myself more. I really don't do that these days, and I'm going to start again. In secret cuz if my parents find out...haha but I do have my own room.

7. Develop my humanitarian tendencies. Hard to be selfish and sad about little things when I can be doing sth to help.

8. Appreciate the simple things again. The sun on my face and the wind in my hair. Good rojak. A great expression. The smile of a stranger.

9. Knowledgeable: I want to know more, so I gotta go find out. 'Specially since my friend who used to feed me fun stuff isn't happy with me right now. :p I have to scrounge for facts, oh woe is me! I need to click the stumble button with my own fingers. Lol.

10. More self-entertaining. Cuz I suspect I’m a bit of a dependent. I keep reading, but when I'm done with a book and have no one to talk to I get...grumpy. I guess what I should do is talk out my questions or issues with myself. My friends have lives of their own and while they'll halp me out, I really shouldn't rely on them being there to the extent he was.I'll be my own person.

11. Much more confident. Although given that I've gotten more than a few interested looks I think I'm ok. No one wants a sniveling self hating loser. Ya?

12. Mature. Well at least once in a while. I must retain my childish trust. Or I won't like who I become. Setmes was right, it's better to be naive and disappointed once in a while that to be cynical and never really happy.

Labels: goals