Monday, January 29, 2007
The ups and downs of every day lead me to think that never again - no, never again will I feel.
Why should I love when it is never returned,
why should I live if not for love?
Am I whole without you?
I think I am but - it would be far nicer to roll with you and share the smells and the bumps.
And I think that I can live alone if I am supposed to. I think that I am - and then
I see something that you wrote
a long long time ago, long before you knew me- knew of me - we still do not know each other.
And my heart screams, shuts down.
I fall back into misery.
The hope the Sun awoke this morning fades with it.
The practical, logical, reasonable points I argued seem so - stupid.
As do I.
Not even knowing if you're saying "No."
or "Not now, I'm not ready now" - "Maybe" or "Yes, but..."
I don't even know that!
How am I supposed to know what to do if I don't know what you want, when what you want is the variable in this equation?
I just want you to be happy.
What can I do to ensure that?
Stay away?
Or just - stay?
-------
Eve.