Monday, June 19, 2006
It is difficult to set aside the shield and see the enemy you've been hiding from and fighting. Would you kill a brother, a friend, for an ideal? How human does that make you? What about him? Should you judge yourself by your own standards or by those of another? Should you strive to fit the mould?Be the perfect, wobbling jelly? Transparent/translucent, sweet. Smooth. Secretless, depthless. With nothing to offer but a moment of enjoyment and a few calories. Unnecessary.To become something different might mean that you're a shapeless blob on the floor, or a work of Art. But that depends too much on who sees you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.So does it all (our live, existence of Life, light and stars and black holes and God and green plants and kittens) depend on some Destiny?A Fate peering over the threads she spins?A God? With 3 billion different prayers at any given moment, not all of which can be granted. Only a few.For someone must lose for anyone else to win. Or at least settle for less. Is a miserable home better than a competent independence? Is honour, is integrity, worth less than a life of lies?Does honour have to be something fixed? Is there only one definition of honour to be followed or is some flexibility allowed? Why do beliefs have to be what defines us? Why do we need to grow up? What defined me could have been my books or height or manner of speech. all of which could be changed with much less effort than my entire set of beliefs.What should I believe in? What you believe in? To make you happy? Should I believe...That a God exists? I do.That honesty is important? I do.That one should not do to others what one does not want done to oneself? Oh, I Definitely do.That loyalty to those you love is paramount? I do.That love should not ever have to be earned? In a sense, I do.That respect HAS to be earned? I do.
That man is not just a body, or soul, or mind, but potentially so much more? I do.That knowledge should be sought, but only within the bounds of reason? I do.That flexibility as well as logic is necessary in setting those boundaries? I do.That gratitude for what you have should be present, but should not dictate your every breath? I do.That you should be clean? I do.That you should share? I do.That you should eat and drink and breathe and exercise and be polite and helpful and disciplined and think before leaping and not meddle (too much) and follow both moral and legal laws? I do.Did I miss anything? You can tell me. I'll add it in. But this has to be discussed. I am determined and I will persevere and you shan't just walk away. Everything's in turquoise and green. So you know who you are. Don't try to evade this.Love,Eve.